20 thg 11, 2009

Topic 3

* Outline:

1. Thesis statement: It was the first time I went to school.

2. Body paragraph:

-After a summer and wonderful holiday, I had to stop some interesting games to go to primary school.

+ My mood was more and more complicated

+ That morning, I got up early to prepare everything, have breakfast and be ready to go to school

+ All things seemed to be fresher and more colorful in my eyes.

-When I went to school:

+ I began to feel slightly scared because in front of the naive eyes of a child, everything in this school was very new and so big.

+ I stood close up to my mother and kept a firm hold of her hand.

+ Looking at around here, I caught sight of my neighbor-friend over there.

+ We were instructed to queue up in right order and taken to our classrooms.

+ My class was on the first-floor so I stood next to windows and had a look at everything beneath.

+Also, I was so curious to want to know what our teacher was like.

+ Actually, she was like our gentle mother.

3. Conclusion: 14 years went by. Now I am a student at UTE; still, the feeling of the first school-day will be always fresh in my mind. It is a special memory, an unforgettable day, marking my first steps on the road to knowledge.

MY FIRST SCHOOL-DAY

The pale yellow sunlight streams into green grass in front of my house. A gentle breeze with a little cool of the autumn sweeps my hair. Leaves on the branches begin to fall. All these scenes make me remember the special autumn 14 years ago. It was the first time I went to school.

After a summer and wonderful holiday, I had to stop some interesting games to go to primary school, which was quite new and strange for me, a six-year old child. That day came nearer, my mood was more and more complicated, and so I couldn’t describe my feeling exactly: a bit of anxiety, nervousness, and eagerness. That morning, I got up early to prepare everything, have breakfast and be ready to go to school. All things seemed to be fresher and more colorful in my eyes. The sky became bluer, the clouds became whiter, the trees became greener, and even the road I used to go many times also seemed to be unusual. Finally, only after 10 minutes, I went to school.

I began to feel slightly scared because in front of the naive eyes of a child, everything in this school was very new and so big. Everyone around me was also strange, too. I didn’t know anyone. I stood close up to my mother and kept a firm hold of her hand. I was trembling and seemed to want to cry. She encouraged and told me “Don’t be scared. Everything would be OK”. Looking at around here, I caught sight of my neighbor-friend over there. I was so glad that I only said goodbye to my mother; then, quickly ran to my friend and talked with each other cheerfully. The sun rose higher, and shone the brilliant sunlight down the school yard as if it was welcoming us to this new school. At 7 o’clock, a guard beat the drum and the school-gate began to be closed later. We were instructed to queue up in right order and taken to our classrooms. Some pupils didn’t want to say goodbye to their parents. They cried and wanted their parents to go into classrooms with them. But I didn’t, I remembered what my mother said, I reminded myself “Be brave. I mustn’t cry”. My class was on the first-floor so I stood next to windows and had a look at everything beneath. Also, I was so curious to want to know what our teacher was like. Then after five minutes, she came to the class. She looked lovely with her long hair, black eyes and rosy cheeks. I was really attracted when she spoke. Her voice is very, very clear and sweet. With all her love, she brought us to the first basic lessons that I cannot forget. Actually, she was like our gentle mother. One day went by and I didn’t feel scared any more. In contrast, I was eager to look forward to next school-days.

14 years went by. Now I am a student at UTE; still, the feeling of the first school-day will be always fresh in my mind. It is a special memory, an unforgettable day, marking my first steps on the road to knowledge.


3 nhận xét:

  1. i think your writting is good
    but paragraph is too long. why don't you divide it smaller

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  2. introduction is good, background lead reader into your essay easily.
    good grammar
    you follow the step of time to narrated_ that's a good ideas. i think that.

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  3. INTRODUCTION (2ms)
    - Background, hook 1
    - Thesis statement 1
    BODY (6ms)
    - Good ideas 2
    - Coherence, unity, development 2
    - Language: Grammar, vocabulary (1.5)
    CONCLUSION (2ms)
    - Summarize (1)
    - Lesson, suggestions (1)
    Total: 9.5

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